


Longing

by chiiya, eleasofia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Affection, Daydreaming, Dreams vs. Reality, Longing, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unwanted Feelings, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:33:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiiya/pseuds/chiiya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleasofia/pseuds/eleasofia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there was one thing that Kageyama wanted more than improving his volleyball skills, it would be a dreamless sleep. Every time he slept a little longer than usually he had those dreams, the ones that were full of events connected to his past. And all those events had one thing in common; one certain person whom Kageyama so desperately wished to forget. He truly despised his dreams.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Longing

If there was one thing that Kageyama wanted more than improving his volleyball skills, it would be a dreamless sleep. Every time he slept a little longer than usually he had _those dreams_ , the ones that were full of events connected to his past. And all those events had one thing in common; one certain person whom Kageyama so desperately wished to forget. He truly despised his dreams.

It's not like he had feelings for that person, no, not even a little bit. He admired them, yes, but it didn't mean anything. However, ever since that person had graduated from high school and left their home town for university, he had felt a weird ache in his chest.

What if he would never see that person again? What if that person would forget him completely? Would he never be able to hear that playful voice stressing his name in this very particular and annoying way again? Back then when they’d been still living in Miyagi, he had hoped he would meet them by accident sometime, maybe in a convenience store or at a bus stop. However, nothing like that had happened since middle school but still, he liked to hope.

* * *

Kageyama was imagining he was grocery shopping. He was walking through the aisles, putting some stuff in his cart now and then. Looking for the brand of milk his family always buys he stopped at the diary section. Just when he had found the right one and put the bottle of milk in his cart, he looked up and suddenly saw them, scrolling lazily on their phone, passing by Kageyama without noticing him at first.

„----!” Tobio accidentally called him. He didn't mean to, he really didn’t. But the person turned around in surprise and their gaze immediately softened when they saw Tobio’s familiar face.

Kageyama liked to imagine that they’d have a nice chat then; some talk about school but mostly about volleyball. That person apparently knew an awful lot about all the national team players. It was mostly gossips about their personal lives but still, it never failed to amaze Tobio.

But at some point he always got tired of the scenarios in his head, so he tried to push the picture of that person to the back of his mind and snap out of his daydreams to finally finish his homework or whatever else he needed to be doing at the moment.

Daydreams were pleasant because he was able control his mind and stop thinking about that person if needed to. However, he couldn't do the same with the dreams he had at night. Actually, the very first dream in which they had appeared had apparently caused him to start with his wishful thinking.

It was him practicing serves at Kitagawa Daiichi. He tossed the ball high in the air and slammed it down hard. 91st serve this day; that was decent. And he didn't count the failed ones. There were too many of them. He was tired, his palm was aching, his t-shirt was completely wet from the sweat and all he really wanted was to have a shower and to go home. His stomach already hurt from the hunger he had started to feel hours ago, which was a really bad sign, he knew he was going to feel dizzy soon.

When he grabbed another ball form the basket he heard a loud sigh.

„Give it a rest, Tobio,” a voice echoed through the almost empty gym, „You have done like thousand serves today. I don't even know how you still have enough strength to stand on your feet.”

Kageyama turned to his left just to see a tall silhouette leaning against the wall. His spectator was standing in the shadow so he couldn't see the expression on their face. As strange as it might sounds he was sure they wore a smile; a smile as soft as it was sad. He dropped the ball he was holding and walked straight over to the intruder. When he was close enough to be able see their face, they suddenly disappeared.

However, the smile still seemed to linger in the shadow for a while.

* * *

Since that time Kageyama had started to have those dreams. They were innately pleasant since the person in his dreams was always nice to him; unfortunately as opposed to the real version of them. He really hated his dreams because of the feelings he had when he woke up from them, because there was this longing for them, for the real version of them. It would really be nice to hear a concern in someone's voice from time to time after all. Their presence always felt like a warm embrace, smelled like home and gave off the vibe of safety.

The fact they didn't exist hurt. It hurt so much more than any physical pain he had ever felt before. And hoped that those feelings would stop to linger, that he won't find himself chasing after shadows for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank eleasofia for her help, tips and the time she devoted to me.  
> Go check out her [fics](http://archiveofourown.org/users/eleasofia/pseuds/eleasofia) and her [tumblr](http://kagejamas.tumblr.com/)!


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